My "Why"

Ok, I know I told people in my Fit 'n Happy group that I would be writing about the Shakeology cleanse that I'm currently doing. (I'm on Day 2 out of 3 now! Halfway done!) That was my intention, but then I had a phone call last night that I just knew I had to write about because it was life changing. This is not an exaggeration. My life just hit a turning point, and suddenly I know what I'm supposed to be doing. So today I'm going to be writing about that phone call instead of the cleanse.

Before I can tell you about last night, I have to back it up a little bit and explain what I've been doing lately. At the beginning of July, I became a Team Beachbody coach, pretty much at the same time I signed up to be in the 90 day fitness challenge. At first, I told myself I was just in it for the discount on Beachbody products, I'm not coach material, I don't want to try to sell people things, I don't want to be pushy, blah blah blah. Basically, I was pretty negative about it. (Although, the coach discount is a pretty great benefit, so that part wasn't negative. But that's the only part that I was excited about.) I guess I saw myself standing outside of a grocery store, harassing people until they either ran away from me or begrudgingly listened to what I had to say and then walked away shaking their heads and muttering under their breaths. The picture I had painted in my mind of me as a coach was bleak, to put it mildly.

Luckily, I changed my mind and decided to give it a try. I thought to myself, "This is MY business. I don't have to be pushy if I don't want to. I'm going to do things my way, and if it doesn't work, at least I'll know I tried. And I won't become someone I'm not just to try to make money." The more I thought about it, the more I realized that being a coach is actually perfect for me. It's not about selling things. It's about helping other people change their lives and get healthy, all while changing my own life for the better. Everything I do as a coach to help others is holding me accountable. Every time I write this blog, I want to have something positive to write about, not something negative like skipping a workout or eating crappy food. Every time I post something in my Fit 'n Happy group and people respond, I know they're all paying attention to what I'm doing, and I know I need to stay on track to continue to motivate them. And next month, when my fit club and my challenge group both start, I know for sure that I'm going to have to be the best example possible because I've made promises to everyone involved that I WILL help them change their lives, and I can't do that if I'm slacking off. People are looking up to me, and it's a huge responsibility. The thing is, I know I can handle it. The more improvement I make in my own life, the more I'm going to be able to help everyone else, just through experience alone.

When I finally realized all of this, I felt great about being a coach. The bleak picture I had painted was replaced by one that was much more warm and fuzzy and full of hope. But I was still really overwhelmed. There's a lot to learn about being a Beachbody coach, and I was lost. Thankfully I have an amazing team of people above me who were willing to show me what to do. My coach's coach, Amber, started a group for those of us on the team who were brand new to the business. We were given assignments to complete each week to give us insight on how to be better at coaching without giving up who we are. I loved it. I learned so much about the business, and, unexpectedly, I learned even more about myself.

...which brings me to last night. It was our final group phone call. The thirty days of learning were done, and we were all "graduated", so to speak. Our last homework assignment was to find our "why"- the reason why we're all coaches, why we're putting ourselves out there and getting rejected time and again, why we're willing to work our butts off for, often times, very little money or gratitude. As Amber put it, "You could go get a regular job. Why are you choosing to do this one?" Our assigment was to find our "why" and then share it on the phone with everyone else in the group.

It was an emotional call, to say the least. People poured out their hearts to the rest of us. I won't share here in my blog what everyone said because it's very personal, but just know that the coaches I work with are incredible people with incredible dreams. I will, however, share what I said, mostly because I have promised to share every part of my journey with you, and this part is HUGE. Also, I need to get used to telling people my "why" because I'm sure I'll be asked at some point why I'm a coach. And I need to get through it without sobbing, so I guess writing it down is a good start. (As my eyes start to well up with tears...again...geez, I need more practice.)

I was the fourth person to share my "why" with the group, so by the time it was my turn to talk, I was already crying. It wasn't the best way to start out something that was already going to be hard to say, but I forged ahead anyway. Here is my "why":

I am a Beachbody coach because I want to help other people lose weight the healthy way and feel as happy about life as I do. But, even more than that, I am a coach because I need to succeed in something that I start, which includes my fitness program, my weight loss, and my business. I need to succeed at this business and not give up just because the going is difficult sometimes. I have rarely seen something through to the point of being successful, and I need this business to work not only because I can help a lot of people but also because I can help my own self esteem. I WILL NOT BE A FAILURE ANYMORE.

That's the written version. I don't know if you can get the full effect of what I was trying to say when you just read it. But, you see, the part about not giving up was when I had a complete breakdown. I've started so many things and then quit, time and again. College, for example. (That one happened three times, actually.) Joining the Army...and then the Navy...(complete disaster there). And of course, trying multiple times - too many to count - to lose weight and get in shape, and stopping every time before I even come close to hitting my goals. Every time I start something and then stop, my heart breaks. I feel more like a failure every time it happens. The only thing that's made me completely happy and successful is my family. I couldn't be more proud of my husband and kids, and I'm proud of myself as a wife and mom. That's no small thing, and I'm not trying to belittle that at all. But it's also a team effort, and as far as individual success, achieving something all by myself, I've felt like a complete failure for years.

At the beginning of this blog post, I said that last night's phone call was life changing, and that's completely, 100% true. I refuse to feel like a failure for things in my past, and I refuse to let past mistakes keep bringing me down. My "why" is going to keep pushing me forward. Even if no one buys Beachbody products through me, even if no one joins my challenge groups or shows up to fit club, even if no one joins my team as a coach under me, I will still be a success. That might sound crazy, but every step I take as a coach is a step towards a healthier life for myself. So even if my coaching business fails miserably, and I make no money and have nothing material to show for it, I'll have this new body and new outlook on life. And THAT is something to be proud of.